friskin

Apparently at the end of The Neverending Story Bastian names the empress "Moon Child." How about that?

Mmm!

Aaaaaargh, computers hate me.

I promise I just wrote up a nice long post for you to read, but it was devoured just like everything. Sorry.

(P.S. You're a wonderful waste of time.)

Thank you, Love.

Zzz.

Wow, I just rediscovered this a few days ago. I think I might start it up again, but I also might just be lazy and full of it.

Yay, Boston!

Once when I was little I accidentally swollowed a cherry pit. They told me a tree was going to grow in my stomach.

I cried.

I don't know what to do about this.

Certainly, something must be alack.

But anyhow, I should figure out a productive way to spend my time between now and... later.

It's all in your head.

(Flint and steel.)

(This woman talks to herself.)

(Lier, lyre, pants, awn, fiar.)

I have yet to reflect upon how I feel about the experience, other than the endless violations Mother Nature inflicted upon me.

That I will inflict upon myself for five weeks.

Seriously, it was probably as bad as it ever will get for me, unless I encounter a bear.

Or chop my arm off with a chain saw.

Or die in a plane crash.

But you know, there's so much stuff to be afraid of. My teacher this weekend is deathly afraid of spiders, but has no problem getting along without a civilized bathing facility. Odd, no?

I can see that living and working outdoors is definitely going to mess with my body quite a bit. It will take a lot of adjusting once I get out there, and definitely a lot of adjusting once I get back here.

When we got home, my mother was so excited to see us, like we'd been gone forever and ever. I can't even imagine what it's going to be like...

So I guess that's where my thoughts are spinning. What good does worrying do anyhow?

Note to self: You are not in control here.

Anyhow, it's time for bed. I can't wait!

(psIloveyou.)

Taunt stakes.

When I got home this morningI found a tick gnawing away on my shoulder.

More on that later, maybe. Now Andrewdleoodleoodle is coming to get me!

It's tooooooooo early.

And I feel like I'm gonna puke.

Probably from all the party junk food last night.

Ugh.

benisadorkdotcom: i made my friend joe laugh so hard he puked
benisadorkdotcom: that was kinda strange

Today I was walking th dog and an old man was standing on the sidewalk. Naturally, Tipper went to him to say hello, and the old man said to her, "Hey there, is she treating you good? Eh? If she's not treating you good I'll spank her!"

I was like...drrrrr.... So I said, "Of course I am." And then I ran away.

Creepy.

New piccies on the site.

Mr. Hayes rocks my socks.

The English Regents exam does not. It makes me cry.

....could easily keep me up all night.

Billy Moses.

Dream: Kim gives me "milk" to drink. It is thick and pink in color. When I swollow it I notice that my mouth and throat are going numb. The sensation spreads through my body. I feel betrayed. I lay down on a bed near by as I grow paralized, and try to call out. A man (perhaps the same person who gave me the milk in the first place) comes and lays next to me.

I'm glad to have my history exam done with. The second half of my thematic was total garbage. It's all good, though. The way I see it is it was a good warm up for the next two days of writing I have to do.

Boston hopefully next Tuseday. (Although staying over isn't looking too good. Hrm.)

I don't know what to expect from this camping thing on Saturday. Sleeping with my dad and a total stranger in a tent? Oh, it's making me sick just thinking about it. That and the fact that my mother is so freakin' terrified of me going away. I think I'm going to puke in her mouth.

I spent the better part of my day today wasting time. It's pretty horrible considering all the stuff that I would have been better off doing rather than watching the Lifetime Movie Network and looking at websites from losers dot org. The only productive thing I did was fix that t-shirt I got last Thursday, and even that is questionable.

Oh, and I walked the dog. I didn't see anyone, but when we were going up Hoosick a little black thing came flying out of the bushes at us. At first I had no idea what it was and I was really startled, and then I realized it was a dog that Tipper could very easily eat whole. I tried to pull her away while making sure neither of them fell into oncoming traffic and as I was doing so a truck drove by and honked at me, scaring the buh-jeezes (yeah, I just used that phrase, so what?) out of me, and causing me to give the driver what I'm sure was a very weird look. Totally flustered, I finally yanked Tip away from the little black dog and the thing just ran back into the bushes where it came from. Odd, no?

I woke up wrong this morning and more or less stayed that way.

I feel disgusted with myself for whatever reason... uncomfortable in my own skin. Frustrated with everything and everyone.

I know it's wrong to feel this way when I have so much to be grateful for.

I got to hug a real, live lion yesterday. Andrew likes me, as do the rest of my friends. I'm going to Oregon. I'm still alive (which is more than most people can say).

I dreamed it was okay to not be frightened, because I knew that when I die I'll be in heaven.

I don't know. Sometimes there's nothing to hold me back. I lose my grasp on reality.

Tomorrow I'll clean my mess.

Tomorrow I won't play the puppet.

I'll remember what Alan told me.

Tomorrow it will all make sense.

Animals.

Killdares

We're so cool we're so cool we're so cool we're so cool WE WIN!

Seriously. A night to remember.

(He he he.)

("cause how I ever got to you
I have no idea
it's like some secret door
well, it just appeared
so, no matter what I do
from now on with my time
you will always stay here
in my mind
I am certain of this
and I am not certain of anything.")

NY DMV RTSS Scheduler - View Appointment Appointment Status Active
Site Name: Troy
Vehicle Test Type: Automobile
Test Date: 7/9/2003
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Appointment made on: 06/11/2003
Confirmation Number: 17430223

I love you guys. :D

You are "Bowl of Oranges". You see life
to more than what most people do and you
genuinely care about people. You feel art and
music is the sure way of lifting your spirits.
You wish others could have appreciation like
you do, but, unfortunately, you are probably
the only one.


Which BRIGHT EYES song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I GOT IT!

Woo!

Party!
(Don't let your momma know!)
Party!
('Cause she won't let you go!)

So, now what?

(I won't lie.)

I'm feeling hopeless. It feels like everything is falling through again.

Maybe I'm confused because everything has been smelling so unfamiliar. Today during the parade I noticed how each block smelled different. I was as much a spectator as the people on the sidewalks, if not more so. Behind my sunglasses, the people couldn't tell if I was staring at them. I liked invisably watching them watching me.

The story behind the music.
The knees on the bus.
The Hooker, the tag.
The step (left, right).
The sweat.
The pants.
The notes.
The look.

I'm waiting for God to show me something.

I'm happy, hope you're happy, too.

R.S.V.P.

Things are winding down. It is a time full of "too lates" and "too bads," but I try not to think in those terms. It is also a time for new beginnings.

But oh, I'm going to miss you all.

I can't even count the number of people who have blown in and out of my life this year, and who have changed me for better or for worse. I can only hope that our paths will cross again.

And if not, at lease I'll have your name.

Je sais je ne suis pas
bonne, ou forte, ou belle,
mais quelquefois j'oublie que
je n'ai pas l'orgueil.

Somehow it's all justifiable. We know there's no need to go back and erase.. No, we'll just keep building on top of everything we were.

So then why do I find myself short of breath when I try to talk to you?

Why do I find my self short of breath when I try to think of you?

We are one step closer.

This morning I woke up, but rather than fall totally back asleep, I fell into a weird fantasyish thing. I was halfway between wake and sleep. I realized that my alarm would go off in nine minutes, but time in my head went very slowly (the opposite of what usually happens when I fall back asleep in the morning). I could make conscious decisions, but I still had to respond to what was going on around me. Something in the dream made me laugh, and I'm almost positive that I laughed out loud.

I woke up feeling more refreshed than I've felt in weeks.

By the by, I don't feel guilty anymore. Too bad for you.

Also today I practiced my song for Thursday (yeah, that's for all you crazy bearded mandoliners out there who want to come to the Celebrate the Arts concert) and I'm feeling a bit better about it. I was sort of regretting not doing the Mozart (because it's 1. more challenging and 2. longer), but I think this one is going to be okay.

And Megan is the greatest in the whole world.

Knight.

Logophilia Weekly

I love my love with an A because he is aesthetic. I hate him with an A because he is ananthous. His name is Andrew. He lives in the Atlantic, and I feed him with applejuice and artichokes.

They never know unless I write.

Dream: My mom is yelling at me. She's furious. I'm sitting and she is standing over me. Some how I realize that I am dreaming. I have some control. I yell back (or maybe just think), "So hit me!" She swings her arm back, but her blow only injures herself. After three of four attempts she disappears and I am alone. I try to maintain lucidity by spinning arround in circles, but I fall back into the dream when I think someone is watching me. It is my father. We go to the car and he starts driving. I ask him where we're going. He responds by pointing to something (like a map) and I know I'm going to school for the 6:30 to 8:30 review class. When I get there I hear two people talking about the workouts they just did, and then they open a refrigerator and show me a beautiful cake. I think, "That won't help anyone study." I go to a room. It is very elegant, with victorian style furnishings. I climb onto a huge, pink, square chair in the middle of the room. Someone puts a movie in.