friskin

By the by, I got into all of my courses for next semester and as it stands now, on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday my first class isn't until 2:00 PM. Ugh.

An expression of utter confidence and a slight blush at the silent acknowledgement of what hasn't been said. So, he thinks I'm smart. Good.

Today I read this: "There are ghost women in my life, exerting their supernatural influence over me. One moment, they're silently stalking in old hardwood-floored corridors of memory, the next they're invisible but laughing, sighing, whispering, or moaning in distant echoes of sexual pleasure long ago spent. Sometimes, I can't tell the difference between them and the real ones."

It took my breath away for a second. Only for a second. I wanted to speak to you. Immediately. I felt the most gut-wrenching urge like crying and holding on for dear life, and then I was able to let it go.

I had to be the one to break the news to J that the "orbs" she found were actually Christmas lights. She wants so desperately to believe and to have her beliefs validated. It was like telling a small child that the Tooth Fairy died.

It's a shame that this kid won't look at me, but I say he has my number and I leave it at that. Sometimes I really really really care and then I remember the downward spiral and how miserable it made me and how much happier I will be once I've gotten it out of my system and forgotten. Though it really is a shame, because he does have my number.

It is snowing. My bike has been rendered useless by the cold, i.e. the back brakes are jammed and pedaling is ten times more difficult than it should be. I should go to bed, but I've resigned myself to not sleeping much this week or next.

Thanks, Mike, for showing me this.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Quaker Maid Meats Inc. on Tuesday said it would voluntarily recall 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef panties that may be contaminated with E. coli

Yeah, thanks for making me procrastinate even more than I already was. Thanks a whole god damn lot. I haven't laughed this hard for quite some time.

Week of Hell continues. Two papers down, seven more to go. Then I get to start on the BIG final projects. Yaaaay.

(I had my second vivid DM dream of the semester last night. The night before that it was about scary ghosts. What is going on here?)

Who knows what part of this is the most shocking?:


TROY - Police found the bloody body of 73-year-old Mary Elacqua in the trunk of her car Thursday before 2 p.m. It was parked on Cpl. William A. Dickerson Place off of Hutton Street near Old Sixth Avenue.

Her husband, 80-year-old John Elacqua, was found stabbed to death on the living room floor of their Albany home Wednesday around 9 p.m. A concerned relative went to their home at 802 Washington Ave. and found the body.
Mary Elacqua and the couple's gold 2002 Honda Accord were missing until a Troy Police Department patrol officer spotted the car. It was parked clearly visible from the busy thoroughfare of Sixth Avenue as if whoever left it there didn't care if it were found.
The official cause of the woman's death has not yet been released, nor has it been determined if she was killed before or after being taken from her home. The question of why the two victims were found in different counties remains unresolved.
A broken door pane on the couple's house led police to believe the double murder resulted from a random burglary gone wrong, said Albany Police Det. Jim Miller. Police believe the murders took place late Tuesday into early Wednesday. It is unknown if the assailant took anything from the house.
"Only that person knows who did this," said Miller. "Maybe they panicked."
There are no suspects yet. Police are asking anyone who witnessed suspicious activity in the Washington Avenue neighborhood, or where the car was found in Troy, to report it. Tips can be phoned in to 462-8039.


Oh, boy! That's Troy! That's MY hometown.....

Next semester only one of my professors will have been at Beloit for as long as I have or longer. Presumably none of them will be here thereafter. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet, but I know that if my red-faced Belgian waffle leaves, I will be quite sad.

On a related cyber-stalkerage note, I Googled one of them to see what kind of stuff he has published and I found his online current-events diary. From there I found a database of really neat travel pictures. And then I found this one:

There comes a day in every girl's life when she believes that, contrary to countless warnings and threats, it is actually a GOOD idea to cut her own hair. Of course she will be wrong. Of couse she will go ahead and do it and then run to her room and hide the scissors under the mattress so mom wouldn't realize what happened. I had one of those days when I was four years old.

And (lucky me) I had another one yesterday. Bangbangbang. Bang bang. Bangs.

I recently (semi)unintentionally found a dear friend's online diary. Whatever, he wanted me to find it. Perhaps I should come up with an equally loving nickname as American Kid a.k.a. AK47. I vaguely take it as the vague insult that it is. How about Mister Anachronistic Introvert? Anyhow, I'm not mad or even surprised. Amused, probably. I actually knew about my unwelcome presence and the masturbation and the roles of self (dis/per)ception at play. Never-the-less, I can't help but be a bit disturbed by things like, "I, well, I am not totally honest with her. That is, I act much more clueless than I suppose I really am. I refuse to play her little games. I observe much more than she knows. She is like an open book to me. It's too easy to see her little motives and everything!" (Novemver 6, 2005) I guess the best I can hope is that his opinion of me may have changed a bit over the past year. OR maybe I really am that stupid and shallow. For now I prefer the honesty, though, over any idealized account a man could offer. Too bad I had to figure it out via the internet.

ANYHOW, my favorite oral plosive is the voiceless velar stop. Avocados in Commons are cause for much excitement. Tomorrow I get to see Milwaukee up close and personal for the first time.

FUCK everything I said about having my schedule figured out. Bill smashed my dreams of taking Video Production next semester by telling me that I MUST take EDYS282 and I MUST take another history course. It was kind of a punch in the gut, but it was also a choice between that and not going abroad next year.

Here it is:
HIST 150 Proud Zulus
HIST 210 Medieval Islamic Civilization
EDYS 204 Diversity and Youth
EDYS 282 Encountering Social and Historical Worlds

So now that I've got that taken care of I can start planning my summer.

It was one of the most beautiful days with sunshine, and everything was bittersweet and nostalgic. I rode my bike through the unraked leaves like I was discovering autumn for the first time and thought about how it all is. How full of forgiveness? I'm not sad anymore, or lonely either. I'm not even very anxous about my future. I think I figured out my classes for next semester. I'm justifying passing up "Medieval Islamic Civ" with the fact that there's an "Islam in the West" course in Copenhagen. I'm also hoping that maybe our history department will smarten up and hire a permanent Middle East/Africa expert SOON, a la Rob "NERDBOY... TO THE RESCUE" LaFleur.

So I have read zero pages out of 203,398,490 that I should have read tonight. BUT I'm ready for the exam on Friday AND floor hockey starts in a couple weeks. Soviet Sports Machine is back and better then ever.

Da. Ochen?