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Sunday, June 15, 2003

I woke up wrong this morning and more or less stayed that way.

I feel disgusted with myself for whatever reason... uncomfortable in my own skin. Frustrated with everything and everyone.

I know it's wrong to feel this way when I have so much to be grateful for.

I got to hug a real, live lion yesterday. Andrew likes me, as do the rest of my friends. I'm going to Oregon. I'm still alive (which is more than most people can say).

I dreamed it was okay to not be frightened, because I knew that when I die I'll be in heaven.

I don't know. Sometimes there's nothing to hold me back. I lose my grasp on reality.

Tomorrow I'll clean my mess.

Tomorrow I won't play the puppet.

I'll remember what Alan told me.

Tomorrow it will all make sense.

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