friskin

I suppose you must be wondering about me. A week ago my world was turned upside down. I think today's sunburn has sobered me up a bit, i.e. I can actually feel my skin. I'm still sulking behind closed doors because I am so hopelessly gone... "Hopelessly" being the key word there, considering the circumstances. I am debating whether or not to tell M, thinking maybe if my condition worsens in the next couple days I might have no choice but to bring him into this. I'm thinking "go home to escape it," because he reminds me so much of losing what I didn't have. I'm thinking, climb a mountain, write a letter, swim across the lake. Tomorrow I will buy groceries. I found my milk curdled this morning as I poured it all over my cereal. When I get like this... I had forgotten how bad it is. Maybe it's worse here. Last night they shot off some preliminary fireworks. It was the closest I've ever been to the explosion. Maybe after tonight's display my heart will finally collapse and my brain will forget everything that happened, and for a night I could sleep without dreaming.