Saturday, July 23, 2005
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Wednesday, July 20, 2005
The sky looks like a painting tonight. I must be the stupidest person I have ever met.
Fuck.
Fuck!
How did I get caught up in something I can't see? I want you to be gone by the time I count to three.
One...
Two...
Fuck.
Fuck!
How did I get caught up in something I can't see? I want you to be gone by the time I count to three.
One...
Two...
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Awesome.
It's getting dark. You would not believe what's been happening. I came home today to find Mike gone. Forever. It's pretty shocking... the last thing I was expecting as my stomach turned with anticipation on the bridge. He didn't really give any reason other than boredom, which in my judgmental mind isn't a very good reason at all. Inconsiderate? I think so, mostly because he didn't even hang out to say goodbye, and quit with no warning at all to any of us.
Oh, well. My respect has never held too much weight in the grand scheme of things, so Mike, if you read this, I hope all of your wildest dreams come true.
I feel kind of relieved, but not quite ready for another working week.
It's getting dark. You would not believe what's been happening. I came home today to find Mike gone. Forever. It's pretty shocking... the last thing I was expecting as my stomach turned with anticipation on the bridge. He didn't really give any reason other than boredom, which in my judgmental mind isn't a very good reason at all. Inconsiderate? I think so, mostly because he didn't even hang out to say goodbye, and quit with no warning at all to any of us.
Oh, well. My respect has never held too much weight in the grand scheme of things, so Mike, if you read this, I hope all of your wildest dreams come true.
I feel kind of relieved, but not quite ready for another working week.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Ah, ha. I wanted to whisper: I am glad to find you so happily in love.
She knows what she can't let go, so I hope that she'll hold on to it. They deserve eachother, anyway; I couldn't understand a word that passed their lips.
What have I come away with, then? Perhaps some insight into a life or two. I can shut the door, but I'll keep the key under my pillow just in case. And in a short while I'll really know what it is to be the talk of the town. I know what rumors must be circulating. I will look you straight in the eye and tell you that there's nothing worth talking about (or did I let a smile slip?), because I know it won't change a thing. Between a notorious moonlit boat ride and a hop-to phone call, you've got enough to keep chewing at least until next weekend. Remember, neighbors, the viler the better. I assure you, it's crossed my mind already.
I'll keep the funniest part for myself.
She knows what she can't let go, so I hope that she'll hold on to it. They deserve eachother, anyway; I couldn't understand a word that passed their lips.
What have I come away with, then? Perhaps some insight into a life or two. I can shut the door, but I'll keep the key under my pillow just in case. And in a short while I'll really know what it is to be the talk of the town. I know what rumors must be circulating. I will look you straight in the eye and tell you that there's nothing worth talking about (or did I let a smile slip?), because I know it won't change a thing. Between a notorious moonlit boat ride and a hop-to phone call, you've got enough to keep chewing at least until next weekend. Remember, neighbors, the viler the better. I assure you, it's crossed my mind already.
I'll keep the funniest part for myself.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
I suppose you must be wondering about me. A week ago my world was turned upside down. I think today's sunburn has sobered me up a bit, i.e. I can actually feel my skin. I'm still sulking behind closed doors because I am so hopelessly gone... "Hopelessly" being the key word there, considering the circumstances. I am debating whether or not to tell M, thinking maybe if my condition worsens in the next couple days I might have no choice but to bring him into this. I'm thinking "go home to escape it," because he reminds me so much of losing what I didn't have. I'm thinking, climb a mountain, write a letter, swim across the lake. Tomorrow I will buy groceries. I found my milk curdled this morning as I poured it all over my cereal. When I get like this... I had forgotten how bad it is. Maybe it's worse here. Last night they shot off some preliminary fireworks. It was the closest I've ever been to the explosion. Maybe after tonight's display my heart will finally collapse and my brain will forget everything that happened, and for a night I could sleep without dreaming.
