Thursday, December 23, 2004
Dream haunting.
I haven't done anything useful since I've been here. Mother thinks I've been having fun all day, but actually I couldn't be more numb most of the time. I feel pieces of me falling back into place. I think that's just dirty clothing accumulating on the floor. When I'm in this house I don't want to do anything at all. I can't hold my attention on any one task to see it all the way through. I know complaining about it won't help.
Movies I've seen (in part or in entirety): Death Becomes Her, Trekkies, Ocean's Eleven, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, The Canterville Ghost, Run Lola Run.
People I've seen: Andrew, Dave, Le Anne, a few people at Peer Leadership. See what I mean about feeling numb?
But things are beginning to look up: Tonight Bruce took Rowan (ROWAN!!!!) and me to have Hanukah dinner (fried chicken, french toast, cheese burger) up at our old haunt, the Country View Diner. Rowan Magee is such a delightful pleasure to be around. If I had to create a list of people to give all of my kudos/good karma/benjamins/whatevers to, he would most definitely be right up there. I can't even explain why, after months of not seeing or hearing from him, he is still so dear to me. Maybe it's because I know that no matter what, no matter how much time passes, he will still smell like Rowan.
It is this consistancy that gives me hope. No matter where I find myself, at least something will be true.
Tomorrow's adventure: Troy High School, revisited.
I haven't done anything useful since I've been here. Mother thinks I've been having fun all day, but actually I couldn't be more numb most of the time. I feel pieces of me falling back into place. I think that's just dirty clothing accumulating on the floor. When I'm in this house I don't want to do anything at all. I can't hold my attention on any one task to see it all the way through. I know complaining about it won't help.
Movies I've seen (in part or in entirety): Death Becomes Her, Trekkies, Ocean's Eleven, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, The Canterville Ghost, Run Lola Run.
People I've seen: Andrew, Dave, Le Anne, a few people at Peer Leadership. See what I mean about feeling numb?
But things are beginning to look up: Tonight Bruce took Rowan (ROWAN!!!!) and me to have Hanukah dinner (fried chicken, french toast, cheese burger) up at our old haunt, the Country View Diner. Rowan Magee is such a delightful pleasure to be around. If I had to create a list of people to give all of my kudos/good karma/benjamins/whatevers to, he would most definitely be right up there. I can't even explain why, after months of not seeing or hearing from him, he is still so dear to me. Maybe it's because I know that no matter what, no matter how much time passes, he will still smell like Rowan.
It is this consistancy that gives me hope. No matter where I find myself, at least something will be true.
Tomorrow's adventure: Troy High School, revisited.
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