friskin

Super glue? No thank you.

It's over. The stress, I mean... at least until after Thanksgiving. My eyes hurt from many hours of staring at this screen. You may ask, why am I not in bed asleep? Why don't I get the rest that I need, considering the fact that I've been skipping class left and right this week? And why don't I feel guilty about any of it? I've been reading Chuang Tzu. Inaction is the key to supreme happiness. It's comforting to think that the universe will take care of itself, even without me working so hard to set it all up. Maybe I'll become a Daoist on the weekends.

What I'd really like to do is call up a good friend and say, "Let's have some fun tonight!" Well, that's a silly idea, I know, but it really would be nice to be able to rely on someone that much, wouldn't it?

I haven't mastered the mind bullets.

I was beginning to worry about this paper that's due Friday, but Mer is so confident that I can't even get that far.

I had sweet dreams last night. I'm beyond the point of caring whether any feelings are requited. I enjoy the buzz I get from him. As long as he doesn't hate me I'm happy for now with just falling madly in love.

Odin still evades me, but I feel I am getting closer.

The girl nextdoor doesn't make any noise, except an occasional girlish giggle, and her clicking lightswitch like clockwork each night. Someone else in the building is fucking, and being very vociferous about it. I guess I should say, two someones.

I had a really disturbing dream last night. I think it was a continuation of one I had a couple nights ago. I dreamed a close friend of mine was in my driveway at home, and someone (probably me) had backed the car onto her head. The tire was on top of her face, which was smooshed and pretty much unrecognizable. I tried to tell my mom and dad that they should get the car off so we can bury the body. Mom refused, saying that what we needed to do was wash and dress the body and then hang it. I imagined the body hanging by the neck in the hall closet, only to be returned to the driveway the next day and ritualistically run over by the car again. I tried to argue, but realized that in a note I had written to my mom I had lied and said that I would be with that particular friend. I couldn't give her the note because then my lie would be discovered.

Choir concert tomorrow.

"Mr.-Lame-Hunchback-No-Lips talked to Duke Ling of Wei, and Duke Ling was so pleased with him that when he looked at normal men he thought their necks looked too lean and skinny."

I don't have very much to say. I'm happy lately. P's quietness is confusing sometimes, but being around him makes me feel very content with the world. I told him so, and he just kind of chuckled at both.

I'm trying to give up my expectations.

It's hard to believe that it is almost time to register for next semester's classes.